The darkness just disappeared – Experience of T.Xing, a Chinese American, with Sahaja Yoga

I am from China and currently live in the USA. My life before Sahaja Yoga was quite struggling. To begin with, I didn’t have a healthy family to grow up. My mom was abusive both physically and verbally. The unhappy childhood I had extended to my later life as well, including my married life. I was always quite good in school though and I hold a Ph.D. degree in mathematics. From the outside it looked as if I was very successful but deep inside I was unhappy and I didn’t know how to overcome it. All the accumulated negativities inside me had made me quite sick. I started having difficulties in sleeping and often suffered from dizziness. I lost so much of my hair that one spot on my head had no hair. It was quite worrisome for a lady. I felt that I came to the edge of having cancer.

How did I come across Sahaja Yoga? When I was a Ph.D. student, our lab had a new student from India and he was practicing Sahaja Yoga. I got to know the word ‘meditation’ from him. I even searched the word and asked him many times about it. He told me about the place to go to, for knowing more about Sahaja Yoga and I went. I didn’t feel anything at the beginning but I followed whatever they asked me to do.

The first happening in me was after one month of practicing. I still remember that day. As I came out of the Sahaja Yoga center, my heart was bubbling with a silent joy, so comfortable and soothing. But no one in the Sahaja Yoga center had told me anything about it. We mostly did silent meditation so I was sure it was not from my brain. It was some transformation from within. That moment then kept me going forward in Sahaja Yoga.

Along the path, many things started changing. My health problems had fully resolved after two or three months of practicing. I didnt even realize it. I fully forgot about all those illnesses I had. Just one day when I remembered, all the health problems were not there anymore. My personality has also changed. I become joyful and positive. Complete satisfaction and peace inside.   

It felt like I was living in a dark corner and suffered but had no power to get myself out of it. Sahaja Yoga somehow easily took me out of the corner by shining a light into the corner. I never needed to dig into the darkness and face it, like psychologists would do to me. It simply disappeared when a light shined into the dark corner. The peace and satisfaction is beyond words. Finally I felt I am complete just within myself, nothing else is needed, not a degree, not a good relationship, not money, not a high-valued society position. I am just complete within myself. Sahaja Yoga is the best gift to me.  

T. Xing, USA